2008

So 2007 has come and gone. A bit lazy of me to be making another post exactly a month after my last one, but whatever, my blog, I do what I want. The holidays have come and gone, and this will go down as one of the most memorable holidays for me. Thanks to all (bar one) my family for graciously accepting my invitation and coming to see my humble abode, the place I call home for now....you guys will never know how much this meant to me, I will carry these memories with me for a long time to come. I enjoyed having each and every one of you and my house will NEVER be the same again. We should do it again soon J

I am definitely glad that we're in a New Year, although I am always scared of the New Year coz I am always fearful as I don't know what it's going to bring. I'm not very good with change and the whole change to a New Year thing just blows my mind. While people celebrate and shout the New Year in, I always do participate but that's just a front, inside I'm just all pensive and musing over all the bad things that could possibly happen. I'm very pessimistic so as you can imagine all the things I imagine the New Year bringing, none of them is ever good. I have always maintained that I rather hope for the worst and then get pleasantly surprised when good things happen, but I've come to believe that is not good for my psyche, because maybe by expecting the worst, I don't know maybe it does come to pass or something like that. But this new year, I was actually very happy, maybe this is also because this is the year I'm determined to be happy, to find inner peace and to accept the person that I am, accept those parts of me that I cannot change and change those that I can because I want to change them and not because its either expected of me or because I'm trying to keep up with a Khumalo somewhere. I know that there may be bad things that could happen this year, but worrying about them or being scared of them in advance will not prevent them from happening, so worrying about them in advance is quite silly actually. If they do happen, the fact that I've been worrying in advance will not make it any easier for me to bear...I know that makes sense in my head, I just hope it does when I write it down. (MS-Word just re-started itself, I sooo wasn't looking forward to loosing this post after I've typed all this!!!).

I will not miss 2007. It was a tough year for me, what with my intense dislike for my current job situation, intense home-sickness and other circumstances. It's amazing how much having a job one doesn't enjoy can affect one's whole perspective and almost all other aspects of one's life. If there's one thing that I've learnt it's that it doesn't matter if you earn all the money in the world (not that I do), but if you don't like your job, all that money ceases to matter. It got so bad I actually applied for jobs which paid half the money I currently earn and which didn't bother me in the least as long as I was gone from this job. Apart from that this was one year where I missed home so much and of course that lead other circumstances to be so much bigger and devastating. But anyway it wasn't entirely bad, 2007 also brought lots of good things; my sister's graduation, being together with the entire family in the same house again for the first time in too long, my family coming to visit me, to name the biggest highlights.

2008 is here and if 2007 is anything to go by, we'll be at the end of it before too long. Already quite a lot has happened in these last 18 days, both very good (J) and extra bad (the whole Kenya situation...who would have thought!!!??). I don't generally ever make any resolutions coz I always break them anyway before the end of actual day I make them, but this year, there are some things that I would like to achieve....though I will not beat myself over the head if I don't. They are:

- Actively pursue happiness (as I've said above – remember the times I've been happiest, remember the happy feelings and re-live them!!!)

- Exercise (running, here I come back)

- Drink more water – at least 2L per day as I'd started then stopped

- Work extra hard in my new job (partner by 35 here I comeJ, this is more long term I guess, but I have to put in the work annually if I'm to achieve it)

- Try to read my bible and pray daily or even more than once daily in pursuit of building a better relationship with God.

- Make more meaningful female friends

- Cleanse my face nightly

- Wear T-shirts less and dressy tops more.

- Wear high heels at least 4 times a week.

- Watch a play every 3 months.

- Finally get off mainland Africa (Seychelles/Mauritius here I come...woooohooooo)

- Write a professional exam.

Some of them are quite frivolous/superficial (I can't be serious all the time now can I?), but it's what I've been thinking about off the top of my head and I pray that I will be able to achieve as much of this as possible come 2009