I have been thinking alot lately about whether as women we're programmed automatically to always want to be with the bad guys, you know the type i'm talking about, the one who never calls when he says he should...never replies your sms on time or even bothers to reply at all...the one who chases anything in a skirt and cheats on you repeatedly..basically the one who treats you most like crap. Is that what we women really like/want? Because it seems that's what we want much as we protest that we do not.
I mean there are plenty of good guys out there, they are attentive, loving, caring, cater to your every whim, want to spend as much time with you as possible, will do anything to spend afew minutes with you, does not cheat on you, infact really has eyes only for you, is dependable, has a good job and is wise with money, does not live at home, is God-fearing, etc
But what do most of us do, we label those guys as needy, wimps, boring, he's just always hanging around me like some kind of bad smell, he is not exciting enough. Whereas when we're making that list of requirements that we all like to pretend we don't have but we secretly do, that's exactly what we're looking for, but when a guy who ticks all the boxes shows up he's instantly rejected.
Does it therefore mean that good guys will always finish last?
Another thing i've been thinking about is - is it necessary to a relationship to have any chemistry/sparks? Should the chemistry/sparks come immediately? Or can that come with time? If the basics are there (i.e. respect, intense like (or even love), compatible and good companions, etc) is it enough or does one have to have sparks/chemistry? Is hooking up with someone with whom you have no sparks/chemistry settling for less than you can have/want? What if you go for the one where there is no sparks/chemistry and then later one the one with whom you have sparks/chemistry shows up, what do you do then? This whole love/life/relationships is just too hectic i tell you, clearly i need to spend more time sleeping at night and not thinking.
Why can't everything be just simple and straight forward?
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2 comments:
I think that there is a place for emotions and all but the most important thing (for me atleast) is to be compatible in your value system, your goals for life and that kind of thing and then from that, attraction will surely follow...in reverse, it might also work out but from what I know and have seen, it rarely follows
I guess what you're saying that you must follow your head rather than your heart
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