Pretty - Florida Lake

Reading

In the last 2 years I have re-discovered my love for books and reading, infact it began when I was on my forced leave in 2008 when i was literally inhaling books. I have actually always loved reading, but this love of mine was forgotten during the two years in which I got internet at home.

All in all though, i'm glad i've re-discovered my love of books. I have also decided that I will not be forcing myself to finish a book that is just too boring...life is too short and there are too many interesting books that remain un-read whenever i force myself to finish a book i'm not enjoying. I must admit though that I find it really hard to leave a book half read, kind of like i owe the writer something or i keep hoping that it will get better. Apart from reading fiction, I have also read a few books which have helped me have an understanding of the politics in this country, they were hard to finish but I really wanted to know more about the history of this country.

I have just finished reading a book by Wally Lamb, a new writer whom i've never read before. It was a really sad book but I really enjoyed it, so much so that I had to read it and get it out of my system otherwise i would not have been able to do anything else. It has been awhile since a book has gripped me so. I cannot wait to read all the other books by this author. I just realized that i'd heard it recommended on the JCW bookshow and i'd made a note of it and although i forgot about it, it think thats why i borrowed it from the library. Anyway, i highly recommend "I know this much is true"

Enough of my rambling

Hu(Wo)man Nature?

I have been thinking alot lately about whether as women we're programmed automatically to always want to be with the bad guys, you know the type i'm talking about, the one who never calls when he says he should...never replies your sms on time or even bothers to reply at all...the one who chases anything in a skirt and cheats on you repeatedly..basically the one who treats you most like crap. Is that what we women really like/want? Because it seems that's what we want much as we protest that we do not.

I mean there are plenty of good guys out there, they are attentive, loving, caring, cater to your every whim, want to spend as much time with you as possible, will do anything to spend afew minutes with you, does not cheat on you, infact really has eyes only for you, is dependable, has a good job and is wise with money, does not live at home, is God-fearing, etc

But what do most of us do, we label those guys as needy, wimps, boring, he's just always hanging around me like some kind of bad smell, he is not exciting enough. Whereas when we're making that list of requirements that we all like to pretend we don't have but we secretly do, that's exactly what we're looking for, but when a guy who ticks all the boxes shows up he's instantly rejected.

Does it therefore mean that good guys will always finish last?

Another thing i've been thinking about is - is it necessary to a relationship to have any chemistry/sparks? Should the chemistry/sparks come immediately? Or can that come with time? If the basics are there (i.e. respect, intense like (or even love), compatible and good companions, etc) is it enough or does one have to have sparks/chemistry? Is hooking up with someone with whom you have no sparks/chemistry settling for less than you can have/want? What if you go for the one where there is no sparks/chemistry and then later one the one with whom you have sparks/chemistry shows up, what do you do then? This whole love/life/relationships is just too hectic i tell you, clearly i need to spend more time sleeping at night and not thinking.

Why can't everything be just simple and straight forward?

God given talent

Earlier this week i was listening to a radio interview of a famous boxer called "the rose of Soweto" and the interviewer commented to him that some people say that most boxers need to train to reach the level that this boxer had reached, whereas most people agree that this boxer just had a natural God-given boxing talent.

Since then I have become obsessed with what my God-given talent. Does everyone have one of those? What if i die having never found out what it is? How do i find out what it is? I'm consumed with finding out what it is, i'd hate to think that there's something that i can do without any effort (or with minimal effort) or i wouldn't the amount of effort required because i would enjoy so much.

I guess for me the overriding question right now is what is my God-given talent. I sure would like to know so that it just stops lying fallow.

Enjoy a good weekend to my one faithful reader

Eerie

Did one of those online personality tests and the result was an almost accurate description of me as follows:

You prefer a warm, friendly environment free of conflict and hostility. In that environment, you prefer reassurance of your involvement and self-worth.

Because of your lenient and complacent nature, others with fewer scruples may take advantage of you. You could, perhaps, benefit from greater assertiveness.

You are a good friend and are always willing to help those you consider to be your friends. You also show strong ties, and will be uncomfortable when separated from your friends for an extended period.

You may demonstrate positive possessiveness by developing strong attachments; however, you will not be overly involved as some others tend to do.

You have a basic need to be supportive of others. You will agree with others, sometimes even if it's not what you really want.

Others may perceive you as being undemonstrative and self-controlled. Not wanting to be the center of attention, you generally support others.

You tend to dislike sudden or abrupt changes. You prefer things the way they are. Your motto might be: "If it's not broken, don't fix it."

You tend to be a traditionalist, and will enjoy the social environment best if it is stable and predictable. You dislike sudden decisions about where to go or what to do, preferring to think things out first.

You show self-control in most things you do; you are not an extremist. Others may see you as stable, mature and steadfast.

You tend to be loyal to others. Your loyalty shows in a variety of ways including your "staying power" with relationships and activities.

Have you ever....

.....had one of those weeks where on Tuesday you feel like it should be a friday already because of the amount of hours you've put in?

.....needed to just have a good cry and no tears will come?

.....been passed over for a promotion and have people who were junior to you now be at the same level as you?

.....thought you would not feel bad if you were not promoted but feel just really horrible when your name is not on the list?

.....wondered what it feels like to be the right level at the right age?

.....just wished you could sleep the whole weekend and knowing that it just will not be happening?

.....been so sleepy and yet been unable to sleep?

.....had to clear review notes which were beyond your control?

.....felt like you are just disappointing the people you work with?

.....wondered if maybe you're not cut-out for the job that you thought you'd do so well?

.....known you enjoy the work, but maybe you do not have the personality type to do the work?

It has been one of those weeks, maybe its exhaustion, maybe i'm just being a drama queen...but i sure hope the sun does come out tomorrow

What resonates with me

Wonderful, merciful Saviour
Precious Redeemer and Friend
Who would've thought that a Lamb could
Rescue the souls of men
Oh, You rescue the souls of men
Counselor, Comforter, Keeper
Spirit we long to embrace
You offer hope when our hearts have
Hopelessly lost our way
Oh, we've hopelessly lost the way

CHORUS
You are the One that we praise
You are the One we adore
You give the healing and grace
Our hearts always hunger for
Oh, our hearts always hunger for
Almighty, infinite Father
Faithfully loving Your own
Here in our weakness You find us
Falling before Your throne
Oh, we're falling before Your throne

By Selah