Woe is me

So indulge me as I wallow in self-pity.

When I received my CISA exam notification I guess I was too excited to read the whole email correctly, so I just perused it. I thought it said something about them sending me the application forms to now apply for the certification now. So i've just been compulsively going to the post office weekly checking to see whether that has come. Then awhile back i decided, what the heck and put it on my CV that i'm CISA-certified and starting sending out this updated CV with my new qualification.

BIG MISTAKE!

Apparently after re-reading the email and going onto the ISACA website, it turns out that i can only apply for certification after a total of 5 years IT Audit experience!!! So far i only have 3 years: 2 years i get by default because i've completed a 4year university degree, 1 year i'm able to substitute for a year of other IT work. So that means that i need 2 more years of IT Audit work experience in order to apply for certification.

As if i'm not under enough pressure from myself to get a job in IT Audit, the exam results will expire if i don't register for certification within 5 years. Oh, and how do i explain this to all the people who've already received my new updated CV? I'm sure claiming to have a certification you don't have is some kind of fraud. Also, how do i put it on my CV that i've actually done the exam but need them to give me their jobs so that i can get the 2 years of experience that i need?